The Toucher and Rich Show
The Toucher and Rich Show is a morning radio show from 6 to 10 AM on The Sports Hub 98.5 WBZ-FM, based Boston, Massachusetts.[1] The show first aired on June 5, 2006. On August 13, 2009, following the demise of WBCN, the show moved to sports talk station WBZ-FM 98.5 "The Sports Hub."
Show crew
- Fred "Toucher" Toettcher - co-host
- Rich Shertenlieb - co-host, production
- Jon Wallach - sports headlines
- Dan O'Brian - show producer
- Adolfo Gonzalez, Jr. a.k.a. "Kadolfo" a.k.a. "Scoops Gonzalez" a.k.a. "Gonzerelli" a.k.a. "Baskin Robin Hood" - incompetent phone screener and street reporter that conducts interviews for the Drunken Red Sox, Drunken Bruins, Drunken Celtics, and Drunken Patriots recaps. Is often remarked on for his depressingly neglectful childhood (bordering on criminally abusive child neglect) and his exceptionally poor grasp of the English language and frequent incorrect application of English grammar. He is also noted for having a somewhat accurate knowledge of random facts associated with American History in particular facts and dates related to World War II.
- Mike Lockhart - Production Director/Associate Producer (Co-host of the 98.5 The Sports Hub Fantasy Football show)
Former members
- Christopher "Crash" Clark - 3rd chair, traffic, news, sports, alcoholic/hypochondriac, suave ladies' man, self-admitted sexual deviant, and all around party animal! At one time held the official title of "Night Time Naughty Guy." He once was fired from his old radio station, 99X in Atlanta, for an incident that occurred while he was giving away 311 tickets during a station sponsored event at a bar. "Crash" currently hosts 3rd chair on the Mornings with Jimmy and Yvonne show with two fellow former 99X on-air personalities Jimmy Baron and Yvvone Monet on 92.9 dave fm WZGC in Atlanta.[2][3]
- B-Real - show producer (during the WBCN run)
- PJ - useful intern / production director / 6th man
- Intern Nick - useless intern and phone screener for the show from January 2007 to July 2008 on 104.1 WBCN. He contributed to a number of bits, including the Agonizing Race and the "Iron My Shirt" incident. He is often is referenced for his obsession of the new Batman movies because of his blatant theft of a Batman T-Shirt from the WBCN Prize Closet that he wore in the studio the following day and his request to leave the radio station early in order to view the WBCN sponsored screening of the The Dark Knight, which immediately after viewing he promptly quit WBCN in July 2008 and later started working for 101.7 WFNX. He is also noted for having spent the majority of his inheritance, often refereed to humorously as the "Gemelli Fortune," on a used motorcycle.
History
"Iron My Shirt" incident
On January 7, 2008, Nick, a former show intern, and Adolfo pranked Senator Hillary Clinton during a campaign speech in New Hampshire. In front of a crowd of supporters, Clinton spoke the words, "Some people think they can bring about scoliosis..." Upon the word, "scoliosis", Nick and Adolfo, stood up with signs reading, "Iron My Shirt" and proceeded to shout the slogan. Clinton then asked her staffers to "turn the lights on...it's so dark..." She then said, "Ah, the remnants of sexism are alive and well." to applause from the crowd, as the men were led away by Clinton's security. Clinton managed to make light of the incident, asking if anyone in the audience had questions, or still wondered how one irons a shirt.
A journalist, Michael McAuliff of the NY Daily News, followed the pranksters from the speech area and found they had "Hillary for President" stickers, causing accusations they were pro-Hillary plants.[4]
"J-si" incident
In 2008, Rich heard a bit done on Kidd Kraddick in the Morning where J-si (Rich's replacement on the show) was doing one of Rich's Bits "The Musical Movie Review" to preview The Love Guru. Rich made it appear he thought that J-si was trying to steal his bit and the next day played the bit on the show and insulted J-si for doing it, as well as sending Kidd Kraddick "The Musical Review of the Musical Movie Review of The Love Guru". It later came to light that Rich had been corresponding with Kidd Kraddick and was aware that he was going to do the bit as a joke. However J-si only performed the bit because the host of the show Kidd Kraddick, mockingly said he missed Rich. After Rich learned this he sent J-si flowers as a joke.
Tim Tebow incident
On April 23, 2010, Toettcher joked about the 2010 NFL Draft celebration of the family of Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow, saying, "It looked like some kind of Nazi rally....So lily-white is what I'm trying to say. Yeah, Stepford Wives."[5] The incident drew comparisons to Don Imus' Rutgers women's basketball controversy. Toettcher issued an apology on April 26, 2010.[6] CBS, which owns WBZ-FM, did not fire nor suspend Toettcher.
Jose Canseco Vs. Damon Feldman
On March 30, 2011, Jose Canseco did a radio interview with Toucher and Rich on 98.5 The Sports Hub in order to discuss a boxing match set up by Damon Feldman for the Celebrity Boxing Tour. Jose Canseco did not appear in this match because he threw out his back and his father had died. Instead, he sent his brother, Ozzie Canseco to fight in the match as Jose's replacement. Jose went on to accuse Feldman of fraud for announcing Ozzie as Jose before the fight. Damon Feldman ended up calling the show in order to discuss this story with Canseco. Feldman said that Canseco fraudulently took $5,000 up front to do the fight, in which he did not participate, and he wanted his money back. Canseco never denied taking the money, but claimed that it was Feldman's fault for not realizing that Ozzie Canseco was not, in fact, Jose. The argument ended with both Feldman and Canseco hanging up abruptly out of frustration. Canseco called the show back almost immediately in order to discuss the subject further, in an attempt to clear his name. During his explanation, he was interrupted by Rich who was simply adding in commentary for the discussion. Canseco took this as disrespect and continued to rant until he began to curse repeatedly on the air. When Toucher stepped in and asked Canseco to stop swearing, Canseco accused both Toucher and Rich of disrespecting him and then abruptly hung up the phone out of frustration.
The Chili Guy
A frequent bit on the radio show involves interviews with a homeless man known as "The Chili Guy". In addition to "The Chili Guy", the man goes by a number of monikers, including "The Zimmy Kid", "Joe Joe LaGardi", "Joe Joe Weiss", "The Bronco Guy", "Leo Razzi", and "Hot Dog Guy". It is believed that The Chili Guy suffers from a mental disorder that causes him to speak in gibberish, and also to converse with an imaginary friend, Timmy. His rants and catch-phrases are a favorite on the show, including, "Couple beers, no beers...chili", "BRING HIM UP ON RACKETEERING CHARGES!", "WHO'S SELLIN WHO'S BUYIN WHO'S SELLIN WHO'S BUYIN" and "How many eights you got?". His favorite food is from "PIZZZZAAA HOOOOUSE", and his favorite beverage is "REEEEEED DRIIIINK". The Chili Guy claims to be related to Ted DiBiase and Hulk Hogan. It has been confirmed that "red drink" is Arizona Fruit Punch, produced by the Arizona Beverage Company; however, this product is not officially endorsed by either the show or The Chili Guy. The Chili Guy is most often interviewed by Adolfo Gonzalez (known by The Chili Guy as "Kadolfo"), who has been told on many occasions that the two have never met.
On May 22, 2008, The Chili Guy exposed "Kadolfo" Gonzalez as a suspect in a murder and robbery of a hotel. He confirmed that Adolfo had been replaced by a duplicate by checking the back of Adolfo's head. The Chili Guy advised him to hide his identity by buying a new pair of shoes and a coffee. He also mentioned that Adolfo needs a shower and should lose weight.
Oftentimes Chili Guy makes Adolfo pay him for his audio. In the event Adolfo does not have enough money, they will venture to a nearby ATM so Adolfo can withdraw more money. In several cases, Chili Guy has demanded larger sums of money while at the ATM, which makes for entertaining audio clips of Chili Guy and Adolfo arguing about money.
From September 2009 to February 22, 2010, The Chili Guy had been missing. He had not been seen at any of his usual haunts or been reported as being in custody. Some reported sightings have turned out to be a "Chiliganger", a Chili Guy look-a-like. There were also rumors from several sources that the Chili guy was in the hospital, where his leg was apparently amputated.
These rumors proved to be false, however, as upon return from a weeklong vacation, Toucher and Rich announced on air that the Chili guy was in fact alive and well. It turned out he had spent some time in jail for creating an unspecified disturbance. His plans after his release include playing the DH, first base, and pitching from right field for the Red Sox.
Other frequent WBCN-era contributors
- Dungeon Master Jim: a Boston lawyer whose main hobby is gaming. DMJ is the T&R definitive source for all things nerdy on the show, and he has begun to have his own segments on the movie review bits. He also hosts "Warp Speed To the Weekend", which is a weekly segment on T&R where Jim discusses the latest events in sci-fi and fantasy for the weekend. The "Warp Speed To the Weekend" segment usually airs on Fridays at 8:30 am.
- The Gunner: An often inebriated caller who begins every call by saying "Hey guys... hey." Pieces with The Gunner include his karaoke of various popular songs. Frequently challenges Adolfo to a "panty drinking contest", which involves chugging beers through a woman's used panties. To this day, many loyal listeners begin their calls with "hey guys, hey" in honor of The Gunner.
- Mike "Behind The Mic" Callahan: A broadcaster from Dean College that sent in a demo tape in the hope that he could take Rich's job. Mike was tasked with making theme songs for all of the towns involved in the "Five Towns in Five Days" promotion that Toucher and Rich presented. Mike frequently attends the Toucher and Rich events. He is also used to judge the joke contests.
- Quincy Brisco: a local legend known for his appearances on Public-access television cable TV. He considers himself an entertainer, and loves performing karaoke. He also is a big 70's and 80's pop culture trivia buff. He has been teamed with The Gunner several times on the show; his high energy presence in contrast to Gunner's laid back demeanor.
- Rich Cronin: This former member of boy band L.F.O. has become a show favorite with his candid and self-effacing tales of a Boston guy in Hollywood, getting hit on by manager Lou Perlman, and scoring and being dumped by Jennifer Love Hewitt.
- The T.A.R.D.S: The Toucher and Rich Show's fan base, standing for "Toucher And Rich Derelicts/Diehards/Disciples/Degenerates/Drunks".
- "Henry Rollins": A frequent caller to the "You Listened Now Discuss" segment. This intense individual constantly calls back a previous Toucher and Rich, which originally took place in 2007, where they talked about the real Henry Rollins' claim of being punched in the chest by his high school history teacher.
- Adam-12 - current after noon drive host on WFNX 101.7 FM formerly mid day host on WBCN and helped on several bits with T and T . including "The Church of Scientology " commerical (so funny)
- Hardy - current hub headlines and weekend host on 98.5 sports hub also contributed on WBCN and sports hub bits with T and R
- Opie and Anthony - current SiriusXM hosts former WBCN/WAAF hosts who befriended Toucher and Rich when together on WBCN also had cross promoted shows Jim Norton and such comedians appear on T and R.
Prior (WBCN) frequent bits
- Ask Crash: Fans of the show can email Crash questions, which he answers on the air every Thursday. Responses or advice are usually conveyed with Crash humorously reminiscing about one of his many debaucherous life experiences. These accounts often involve inappropriate sexual activities, careless drugs/alcohol abuse, life-endangering situations, potentially criminal activities, unprofessional behavior at work, and a general disregard for the accepted conventions of a modern society. One answer is usually in the form of a sarcastic song parody.
- Best of Boston: An annual contest to determine who has the best face, butt, boobs and feet in Boston. Winners get tickets to the "chili pot" St. Patrick's Day concert where they can win a trip.
- Sports: Crash's sports report. The opening song to the bit is "You're the Best" from the movie The Karate Kid.
- Drinking Games/Competitions: (The Effing Champ and others?)
different strokes 8 ball a bit that was not considered to be one of the better bits , however this bit in retrospect was highly clever in its own way.
- Smitty rates the snacks - funny but embarrassing by T and R standards
Chris Hanson 2.0 rich has a unsuspecting caller talking to a prerecorded Chris Hanson who says all sort of messed up things completely hilarious .\] Incubus the band showing how big of douche bags they are when talking to a highly talented radio host that Fred Toucher is .
Current (98.5) frequent bits
- Best of/Worst of Brackets: In this bit, the cast creates March Madness style brackets in order to pit pop culture figures against one another, usually in a field of 16. The most notorious of these bits was the "Worst Comedians" bracket (won by Dane Cook), which garnered international attention from various media outlets and comedy blogs.[7] Other examples include "Worst Sportscaster" (won by Glenn "The Big O" Ordway), "Most Fascinating Person in Boston" (won by The Harvard Square Puppeteer), "Douchiest Douchebag" (won by Spencer Pratt)[8] featuring pick up artist extrordinaire Mystery, Brandon from Incubus, Guy Fieri, and others. "Best Internet Video" (won by The Alabama Leprechaun).
- Dating on Demand: The show analyzes cable company dating videos submitted by less than desirable folks while offering humorous commentary.
- Drunken Celtics/Red Sox recap: a member of the show goes out and interviews drunks outside of stadiums and bars after Celtics and Red Sox games. The first meeting with the Chili Guy came during a drunken Red Sox recap.
- I Rule: A contest similar to the 100,000 Dollar Pyramid. (No longer performed on a regular basis)
- Rich Goes to the Movies: Rich reviews two or three movies in the theaters. The last review is sung to the theme music of Magnum, P.I.
- "New Jack" Edwards: During hockey season, callers attempt to guess what new jack swing artist recorded the song Boston Bruins television announcer Jack Edwards is reading the lines from.
- Sports: Crash's sports report. The opening song to the bit is "You're the Best" from the movie The Karate Kid. (No longer a segment due to Crash leaving the station returning to Atlanta.)
- Ward Wednesdays: Boston Bruins veteran defenseman Aaron Ward previously called in to the show during the NHL season to discuss life with the Boston Bruins. Ward has since retired, and both Milan Lucic and Shawn Thornton now regularly call in to the show (although Lucic frequently forgets to call in).
- White Boy Wednesdays: Every Wednesday Brian Scalabrine of the Boston Celtics calls in (if awake) to talk about everything Celtics/NBA, getting a spray tan and much more. (No longer a segment due to Brian Scalabrine leaving the Celtics and going to the Chicago Bulls.)
- Would You Buy It: Rich announces the week's new music and DVD releases.
- The Male Bag: As Fred says "A delightful pun!" Listeners submit messages via the internet to the show and some get played by a computerized voice on the next show.
- Ask a Pink Hat: Adolfo goes out and finds a less-than knowledgeable female fan wearing a pink Red Sox cap and asks her basic questions about the Red Sox. Adapted for the Boston Bruins after their 2011 Stanley Cup Finals victory over the Vancouver Canucks and entitled, "Ask a Bruins Pink Hat."
- Faster Guy: An heir-apparent to the Chilli Guy, the Faster Guy is a well-meaning, mid-western-accented, pop-music loving hang-about that frequently runs into Adolfo outside the TD Garden and Fenway Park as the latter collects drunken recaps. The Faster Guy is known to favor non-sequiturs ("Ground beef is really a winner nowadays") and has various theories about the qualities that make up a good sports team ("left-handedness", for example, is a highly desirable athletic quality). The best attribute anything can have, of course, is the simple ability to go "faster", which in the Faster Guy's eyes cures many of life's ills. The crowning moment of a Faster Guy segment is usually when he finally references the word "faster", underscored by a dramatic rendition of "O Fortuna."
- Naughty Massarotti: Tony Massarotti reads Tweets and callers must decide weather they are real or he is making them up. Also used for describing "R-rated sex scenes" from select movies.
- The Jon Gruden "This Guy" Challenge: Played on Tuesdays during the NFL season, Rich compiles the funniest and most ridiculous clips from ESPN NFL analyst Jon Gruden during his commentary of the previous night's Monday Night Football game, and a caller must decide whether or not Gruden will refer to players and/or coaches as "This Guy" during each clip.
- 98-Mile: Various on-air and off-air personalities at 98.5 The Sports Hub compete one on one in a ranked bracketed "rap battle" style tournament to determine who can rap and roast their assigned opponents in the most humorous and cleverest manner. The eventual winner of the contest was Damon Amendolara. Of note there were numerous references to Felger and Massarotti's producer James Stewart having an emotionless personality and fitting the stereotypical profile of a serial murderer. The name of the contest is a reference to the film 8-Mile.
Notes